Finding the Right Friends in College

Hey everyone! I wanted to elaborate on the topics in my recent blog, “5 Things I Wish I Would’ve Known Before I Moved To College.” Let’s first look at “establishing solid friendships in college takes time.” BTW- quality always outweighs quantity when it comes to friendships. I moved 1192 miles away from home to attend college in a place where I didn’t know anyone. It was exciting but also scary to completely start over. I made it a point to get involved on campus immediately and find a local church to be a part of. Here are some tips that made it easier for me to find quality friends:  

Look for people who have the same values as you. You are who you surround yourself with, so make sure you chose those people wisely. 1 Cor. 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” Look for Christian organizations to join to meet other Christian students on your campus. Also, you can join clubs that relate to your major or interests to find friends who share the same passions as you. Most importantly, find a local church to join. In a season of change, having a Christian community is so important for your spiritual and mental health.  

Be yourself. You don’t want to become friends with people you have to act fake around. When you are your truest self, you will find friends who like you for you, not who you’re acting to be.  

Don’t wait for others to approach you. Making friends sometimes requires you to go outside of your comfort zone. If you notice someone that you’d like to be friends with, don’t be afraid to ask them to hang out. There are always events happening on college campuses, so there are plenty of opportunities to ask someone to attend an event with you.  

Say “yes” to invitations when you want to say “no.” There will be times when you’re too tired and don’t feel like socializing, but you can’t develop strong friendships while lying in bed watching Netflix. Find a balance between relaxing and spending time with your new friends. 

Be a quality friend. This might be the most important tip. If you want to attract quality friends, you need to be one yourself. As John 15:13 states, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Be a friend that is trustworthy, dependable, supportive, and caring. Possessing these qualities will allow you to find friends who genuinely care about you.